Liar Liar!

I used to be the only one answering the phone but these days I'm blessed to have three other lovely people helping out, so mostly I just do back-up. Which probably keeps me from burning out. Because some of our potential clients call up with the most outrageous tales.

"My neighbor had inspection with Yellow Hat and only paid $200." Hmmm. That must have been about ten years ago.

"No. Last week." Ummmm. No. That didn't happen.

Another variation - "My neighbor got the sprinkler system included at no charge." Possible, but not likely.

I really just get tired of all these people who want something for nothing. Or something for less than their friend got it for.

If you want to negotiate, go ahead. Give it your best shot. But don't lie to me. Your friend didn't get an inspection last week for $200. (Well, at least not from us.) Your neighbor probably didn't get anything at no charge. And you definitely didn't get a letter from us offering you $100 off.

Bad Questions

Sometimes I just can't give a direct answer. Because it would come across as rude and you just can't be rude to potential clients.

Let me set the scene. A potential client phoned. The property she wanted us to inspect was built in the 1950s. It had a pier and beam foundation. (Also known as a crawl space  - it is the space between the beams supporting the floor and the cold, hard ground.) Properties of that age and that type of construction often have cast iron sewers, which create all kinds of problems. And as a general rule, they are not perfectly level. But they are usually easily fixed. This particular house also had a pool.

Her first question was about the foundation level measurement. She was concerned that if we measured it and it wasn't level that we would advise her to seek the advice of a structural engineer. My answer was that this is essentially true. The exception is that if the fiber-optic inspection of the sewer line revealed that the sewer line was leaking due to corrosion or disconnected pipes, then the assumption would be that the plumbing was causing the problem and she would be advised to consult a plumber rather than a structural engineer.

So she changed the scenario. "Assume that nothing is wrong with the plumbing but the house is not level. Will I be advised to get a structural engineer." Did she seriously want me to say no? Of course we're going to advise her to seek the advice of a structural engineer. What other choice do we have? When I answered her in the affirmative, she complained that then she would have to pay another $500 or more to get the engineer's opinion.

Then she asked me what the inspector would say about a visible crack in the swimming pool. What kind of answer did she want? When we inspect pools and spas, there are only two choices. 1. The pool is functioning as intended with no problems or 2. There is a problem with the structure/decking/pump motor (pick a part) and you should consult a pool company about repairs. Pretty obvious to me what he's going to say. "You need a pool guy!" If there's a visible crack in the pool, there's probably no need to pay a home inspector to look at it at all. Just call the pool company.

She did go on for a bit about how much she would have to pay if she had to have an inspection and a structural engineer, and a plumber, and a pool guy. Other than explain that it is the inspector's job to point out items that need additional attention, there wasn't much I could say. Most times I'm disappointed when I don't close the call and make the appointment. This lady told me she'd call me back, but I've got to admit that I was more relieved than disappointed when she didn't. I'm not sure what her expectations were, but I was pretty sure that we weren't going to be able to meet them.