Great Expectations

It's getting harder and harder to hire home inspectors. Some you can eliminate right off the bat - like the guy who recently got his inspector license, had zero experience, and expected a six-figure income to start. (His previous job was bartender.) Good luck to you sir. Unfortunately, we encounter more and more like this guy.

Our ideal candidate is a licensed professional inspector who wants to do inspections but has no burning desire to run his own business, or has tried and realized that it's just more work than he wants to do. Next best is a licensed professional inspector who wants to run his own business - someday. But not now. The guy whose first question is "How long do I have to stay with you before I can start my own company?" isn't the guy I want.

What we're offering is an opportunity to learn and gain experience. Don't get me wrong - it's not all just "get experience" it's a living wage - well above minimum. All of our full time inspectors have already done well over 100 inspections this year. (When we go to conferences, there's always someone who's winding up his first year in business and everyone cheers when he says he's done 30 or 40 inspections his first year. And if he was making the money promised by the real estate school (a six figure income), he would have been getting an average of $2500 per inspection. I assure you, this didn't happen.)

We provide our inspectors with all the specialist tools and software they need. We pay for E&O (Errors and Omissions) insurance, as well as General Liability and Worker's Compensation. We offer paid holidays and vacation and our inspectors are covered by Workers' Compensation insurance. We even provide the computer and software licenses. We pay the inspector even if the client hasn't paid. The only expenses our inspectors have is the cost of maintaining their license and costs associated with their vehicle. I'm still trying to find a way to provide health insurance, but so far, it just hasn't been possible.

So when we have a candidate who informs us that anything less than a 60% split is unacceptable, we just move on. This is someone who has no concept of what it takes to run a business. He has no idea what things cost and I don't have time to explain it. There's the equipment we supply - zip level, moisture meter, circuit analyzer, computer and an assortment of cameras. We pay for payroll taxes - FICA plus State and Federal Unemployment. We offer paid holidays and paid vacation. Plus our inspectors are free to block off their time as needed. There are fees associated with producing the payroll and processing the direct deposits to their accounts plus filing the monthly and quarterly tax returns. The insurance - E&O required by the state and general liability, required by many builders in order to be allowed on the property to inspect new build houses, plus Workers Compensation Insurance. There's the cost of people to answer the phone and schedule the appointments. The cost of the scheduling software, which is a subscription based on usage. In addition to administering the payroll, someone also has to process payments to vendors. And we haven't even started to talk about marketing. (And we're not going to have that discussion today.)

I can tell you this from countless conversations with clients and potential clients. In our 10+ years in business, no one has ever called and said "I want your least experienced inspector." No. One. Tell me again why you think you should be getting a 60% split.

Let's talk for a minute about the older guys who got downsized from their previous jobs and did the home inspection course, (apparently because there's lots of easy money to be made in home inspection). They spent the last 25 or 30 years in technology, or manufacturing, or something that is totally unrelated to home inspection or even construction. If they'd been an engineer, whether civil, mechanical, or structural, it would be easy to transition their skills and we could start them at a higher rate (although still not in that six figure range). But when they admittedly have zero experience and criticize me for offering them "McDonald's" wages, they should not be surprised when I don't respond. I have concluded that they don't understand the value of what's being offered and they have no clue what it's going to cost them in time or money to be independent. (Perhaps that guy should take a look at what McDonald's is offering. As far as I know, we're offering significantly more.) I can look up their license numbers next year and the odds are very high that they will be inactive.

Remember that independent guy working for himself doing 30 to 40 inspections per year? (My guys are doing that in a month.) Of course the independent guy working for himself gets to keep all of the inspection fee. He also gets to pay his own marketing expenses, E&O insurance (something like $2K per year here in Texas) and if he takes a vacation, he isn't making any money. He has to do his own collections and pay all his own taxes. Is he going to answer the phone and schedule appointments while he's in someone's attic? He has to pay and file his own taxes. He probably isn't covered by Worker's Compensation and any down time he has is spent scrambling around calling on real estate offices trying to drum up business. So is he really better off?

Rude

I try hard not to let people get the better of me. And as long as I don't raise my voice or use any profanity, I count myself successful. But apparently that doesn't mean you're not rude.

Here's the situation. We rely heavily on direct mail to advertise our business. Some might call it "junk mail". They can call it whatever they like but as long as I've put the appropriate amount of postage on it, the post office has to deliver it. No one is forced to open it. I toss all kinds of junk mail on a daily basis. I suspect that about 85% of the stuff that ends up in my mailbox goes straight into the bin without being opened. But our mail pieces are sent with first class postage. It costs more, but it doesn't identify the mail as "junk" when the recipient gets it.

Also, this is highly targeted. We only send it to people who bought their "new build" home 10 to 11 months ago. We send the same letter out three times between month 10 and 11. There you have it. The secret to our success. But it seems that some people take real exception to getting unsolicited mail with a first class stamp. Probably because they thought it was a letter telling them their great aunt Bertha died and left her fortune to them and it turned out it was only someone trying to get them to have a home inspection. Drat!

So the woman who told me I was rude called up and told me that she was tired of getting mail from me. She was not interested in having a home inspection and the mail went straight from her mailbox into the trash. She wanted to point out to me that I was wasting my money, envelopes, and stamps by sending these to her. She went on for a while, and I listened. I wanted to ask her if she had ever considered the fact that a letter that notifies you that your home warranty is about to expire probably has a time value to it. (Seriously, we are NOT going to waste money sending you a letter once your warranty has expired.) But I suspect that she does not think things through at that level. What I did ask was whether she called everyone who sent her junk mail. (I didn't even add the part about demanding to be removed from the mailing list.)

And that's when she told me I was rude. I thought she had been rude but rather than point that out I agreed with her. "Perhaps I am rude. Sorry, I haven't been feeling well for the past couple of days but if you give me your address, I'll do my best to remove you from the list." (The list that you're actually not even on anymore, anyway.) Truth is, I probably get one or two calls a month from someone wanting to be removed from the mailing list and I've always wanted to ask them if they called everyone who sent them unsolicited mail. I rather suspect they don't. On the other hand, if calling to disparage someone who has "annoyed" you by sending you mail is the highlight of your day...nuff said!

Liar Liar!

I used to be the only one answering the phone but these days I'm blessed to have three other lovely people helping out, so mostly I just do back-up. Which probably keeps me from burning out. Because some of our potential clients call up with the most outrageous tales.

"My neighbor had inspection with Yellow Hat and only paid $200." Hmmm. That must have been about ten years ago.

"No. Last week." Ummmm. No. That didn't happen.

Another variation - "My neighbor got the sprinkler system included at no charge." Possible, but not likely.

I really just get tired of all these people who want something for nothing. Or something for less than their friend got it for.

If you want to negotiate, go ahead. Give it your best shot. But don't lie to me. Your friend didn't get an inspection last week for $200. (Well, at least not from us.) Your neighbor probably didn't get anything at no charge. And you definitely didn't get a letter from us offering you $100 off.

Bad Questions

Sometimes I just can't give a direct answer. Because it would come across as rude and you just can't be rude to potential clients.

Let me set the scene. A potential client phoned. The property she wanted us to inspect was built in the 1950s. It had a pier and beam foundation. (Also known as a crawl space  - it is the space between the beams supporting the floor and the cold, hard ground.) Properties of that age and that type of construction often have cast iron sewers, which create all kinds of problems. And as a general rule, they are not perfectly level. But they are usually easily fixed. This particular house also had a pool.

Her first question was about the foundation level measurement. She was concerned that if we measured it and it wasn't level that we would advise her to seek the advice of a structural engineer. My answer was that this is essentially true. The exception is that if the fiber-optic inspection of the sewer line revealed that the sewer line was leaking due to corrosion or disconnected pipes, then the assumption would be that the plumbing was causing the problem and she would be advised to consult a plumber rather than a structural engineer.

So she changed the scenario. "Assume that nothing is wrong with the plumbing but the house is not level. Will I be advised to get a structural engineer." Did she seriously want me to say no? Of course we're going to advise her to seek the advice of a structural engineer. What other choice do we have? When I answered her in the affirmative, she complained that then she would have to pay another $500 or more to get the engineer's opinion.

Then she asked me what the inspector would say about a visible crack in the swimming pool. What kind of answer did she want? When we inspect pools and spas, there are only two choices. 1. The pool is functioning as intended with no problems or 2. There is a problem with the structure/decking/pump motor (pick a part) and you should consult a pool company about repairs. Pretty obvious to me what he's going to say. "You need a pool guy!" If there's a visible crack in the pool, there's probably no need to pay a home inspector to look at it at all. Just call the pool company.

She did go on for a bit about how much she would have to pay if she had to have an inspection and a structural engineer, and a plumber, and a pool guy. Other than explain that it is the inspector's job to point out items that need additional attention, there wasn't much I could say. Most times I'm disappointed when I don't close the call and make the appointment. This lady told me she'd call me back, but I've got to admit that I was more relieved than disappointed when she didn't. I'm not sure what her expectations were, but I was pretty sure that we weren't going to be able to meet them.