How to Sabotage the Inspector

There is plenty of advice on the web on how a home inspector can help you understand what is wrong with the house. There are also sites that inform (misinform might be a better choice) you how to get the "most" out of your home inspection. Sadly, there are no sites with tips on how to sabotage your home inspection. With Mark's help, I've compiled this list. Use these tips to ensure that you have an inspection that lasts as long as possible (you want to get your money's worth!), and misses important issues but (this is key!) makes you feel that you are in control of the process.

1. Make sure your entire family is present at the inspection. This includes children, grandchildren, parents, and grandparents. The more the merrier. It provides the maximum level of distraction for the inspector.
2. Be sure that you and your extended family follow the inspector everywhere he goes. You will provide the maximum level of distraction in places like the attic.
3. Split your family into small teams. Have them go through the seller's closet. They should pull out a garment so they can discuss it before putting it back in the wrong place. This is sure to get the inspector excited. Going through the dresser drawers, cupboards, or refrigerator produces a similar effect.
4. If you don't have time to attend the inspection, ask an elderly relative to attend on your behalf. For full effect, this relative should not have a good grasp of English. This way they will be able to distract the inspector for extended periods of time trying to make the inspector understand what they have found wrong with the house.
5. While the inspector is working, make sure to get his attention and lead him away from what he is doing to show him something you want to comment on. This is a very effective way to destroy his concentration. It is particularly effective if he is outside and you take him inside, or vice versa.
6. Present your inspector with a list of items that you found. This type of distraction works best if you can't spell or have illegible handwriting.
7. When the inspector removes the front of the electrical service panel (breaker box), gather the family around, hold hands and point at the wires in the box. Get as close to the wire as you can. This gets the inspector really excited because at this point, you still haven't paid. But his excitement should provide the maximum in fun for you and your family.
8. When the inspector is summing up his findings, bring out your list of items that you want added to the report. The inspector will be happy to note that there is dog poo in the yard, or that the paint is old, or that the cupboard doors look worn. These things will distract the inspector from telling you about the failing foundation.
9. During brief periods when the inspector is able to elude you (trust me, he is trying his best), make use of the time by sticking blue tape on items you feel need repair. This is especially effective in an occupied home. The inspector will get really excited when he sees your efforts stuck into every nook and cranny of the house.
10. And last, but not least, ask the inspector how much it will cost to repair the items he has found. This is an area where an inspector has limited expertise because the cost depends on the quality of the repair you wish to make. Something you know, but he does not.

You'll be pleased to know that every tip on this list has been tested on a home inspector during a home inspection. These actions were found to break the concentration of the inspector and make his job at least ten times harder to do! You might like to know that despite the evident expertise you have demonstrated by asking penetrating questions about what you have seen to distract the inspector he is not as impressed as you think he is.

You Can't Lose Something You Never Had

We got an email earlier this week from a realtor who was dissatisfied because Mark didn't wait for him to arrive at the house. He told us that we had lost the recommendation of a good realtor because he would never recommend us.

Here's part of the email I sent in response:

The time window provided in the confirmation email is an estimate and typically allows more than enough time for the inspector to complete the inspection and answer any questions the clients might have. It does not mean that the inspector will remain on the property until the time window is exhausted.
 
Since he had finished the inspection and walked through the property with the clients, answering all their questions, he left. Many realtors do not attend the inspection and unless he knew you were planning to be there, he would not have waited. If he had known you were planning to be there, he would have called you prior to completing the inspection. 

If you or our clients have any questions about the report, he would be happy to discuss those with you. Please phone the number shown below.

We are sorry that you are dissatisfied. Our primary goal is to provide a complete and detailed report of the condition of the property. To the best of our knowledge, the clients are satisfied with the service we provided.

I did a search on his name in our database. It came up one time - as the agent for the buyers on the house he wrote to us about. He hadn't recommended us. This client found us on Angie's List. You can't lose what you didn't have. I guess nothing has really changed.