"Yes, I am." I just knew they'd heard about what a brilliant inspector Mark is - how he uses all kinds of technology other inspectors don't have - and they wanted to do a feature story on him. This was going to be MAJOR.
Imagine my shock when I discovered that all she wanted was for me to buy an ad on their website. I was still suffering from the shock of realizing that there was not going to be a "featurette" that I actually listened to her spiel. (In truth, I listen to most spiels because regardless of what you might have heard, it's really not in my nature to be rude.)
In addition to telling me about how wonderful the ads on their website are, she wanted to show me. For some reason, she thought we were based in Allen, Texas. We service Allen, but it's not where our office is. But I'll play along, I'll set my "community" to Allen. But I couldn't see any ads. She couldn't understand why, because she could see them perfectly. We changed the community to Frisco, but I still couldn't see any ads. She wanted me to describe what I did see. I could see the national ads and the regional ads almost perfectly. (I say almost because there was a car dealership whose ad was split in two and was displaying with the sides reversed.) But I never saw a local or "community" ad - which is what they were trying to sell me. After struggling with it for 20 or 30 minutes, Tiffany left me with "Why don't you show it to your husband when he gets in and you can call me."
I believe I told her that I didn't think he'd be particularly impressed with a website that didn't work and we said our good-byes.
So Friday, when Britney (remember the names have been changed) called and said she was with WFAA, I did not get excited. I mentioned that I'd spoken with someone a month or so previous and that the website hadn't worked.
Britney: "Yes, you spoke with Tiffany. If you have a pop-up blocker, you won't be able to see the community ads."
Me: "You want me to pay for something that nobody will see?"
Britney: "Just companies have pop-up blockers, so people don't see the ads while they're at work."
Me: "Lots of people have pop-up blockers."
Britney: "You can't see the ads if you have a pop-up blocker."
Me: "My point exactly."
She still seemed to think that we are in Allen. I said that we were not in Allen but Celina and that I would select the Celina, Prosper, Anna, and Melissa community for purposes of the demonstration. She said something about the ads for Sanger and I told her that I had selected Celina. I'll admit that by the third time she mentioned Sanger, I lost a bit of patience with her.
Me: "I selected Celina/Prosper, for the third time."
Britney: "I'm sorry. I just don't see that one."
Me: "Because Celina is spelled with a C not an S."
Britney: "Oh! There it is!"
She really should familiarize herself with the product she's trying to sell, but I kept this opinion to myself.
There was a discussion about how if I were looking for a home inspector, the WFAA website would not be the first place I would look, but that did not matter to Britney. She went on to point out that we could have a "coupon". I looked at some of the coupons that were there. A free inspection if you use a particular realtor. A $300 inspection in Flower Mound. $50 off an inspection. Then Britney and I started talking about numbers.
Me: "If my price is $600 and someone else is offering $300, or free, how many calls do you think I'll get?"
Britney: "We give you tools to track how many clicks you get."
Me: "I don't care how many clicks I get. I only care about how many calls I get."
This concept is just too difficult for people who are completely focused on the number of clicks, so I won't bore you with the details. We'll move on.
Britney: "I just know this is a perfect fit for you. I just KNOW it."
Me: "I suspect this will prove to be more profitable for you than for me."
Britney: "I just know it's a perfect fit for you."
How was I going to get off the phone without being rude?
Me: "You know what? We've been so busy lately that I've had to turn business down because there just isn't enough time for him to do them. I'm not sure it's a good idea to pay to increase the number of clients when we can't handle what we've got."
Britney: "Oh. How many people are in your company?"
Me: "Two"
Britney: "I'm sorry this isn't a good fit for you right now. If you'll excuse me, I have clients who ARE a good fit waiting for my call."
You go girl!
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